All this time I believed that the best way to expedite a license request to the Office of Foreign Assets Control (“OFAC”) was to submit complete and detailed information in a well-organized manner. Little did I know how foolish I’ve been. Hundreds of hours of work spent on licenses, all undertaken with the belief that this was in the best interest of clients. My naiveté is stunning.

The latest release of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails has taught me a very valuable lesson – the most effective way to expedite your license request is to be friends with, or be friends with a friend of the Secretary of State.

You may remember several years ago some media coverage of endurance swimmer Diana Nyad’s quest to swim from Cuba to Key West. The practioners among you may remember wondering if she and her team had the requisite BIS and OFAC licenses to land in Cuba. Well it turns out world famous swimmers have the same problems with OFAC’s license response times as the rest of us:

“You file those darn OFAC licenses and have no one to call. It’s very governmental, shall we say, bureaucratic paperwork. I had no deep friends.”

Enter Democratic political strategist and lobbyist Hillary Rosen. After learning of Nyad’s difficulties, she dispatched an email to Secretary Clinton. Lo and behold, a license was granted within 24 hours.

So the next time you consider staying late perfecting your latest application or sending one more request for information to the client, don’t. Just put on your best schmoozing outfit, head over to Georgetown (or wherever eminent politicos congregate), and try and charm a Very Important Person.